In a conversation with a friend recently, we were talking about how what
we imagine as the perception of what we say and do so often differs greatly
with what others interpret from our actions. My friend and I are both self perceived
great communicators and had a laugh over that (non) fact and the fact that it
is just too easy to be misunderstood through our verbal and non verbal actions.
As an example, you might be wearing a scowl on your face which others may interpret
as a signal that you are angry. The reality is that your scowl is just
a short reaction to a passing thought about an argument you have been having with
the airline about an over charged ticket price.
Our
discussion brought out the fact that the Reality of the reason for the
scowl doesn’t matter. The Perception of the action is what matters. What
others perceive from what we say and what we do is the main event of communication.
We can defend our position and the reality of a situation forever to feed our
eternal quest to be “right.” But, considering the real goal of communication is
to have the other person’s perception be the same as reality, why bother filling
your want to be right? It seems like energy is better spent helping others understand
that the scowls of occasional anger that show up on your face are the result of
other causes, not a reaction to those who may be walking by or present in the
room.
As a leader in business, in a community group or in a family,
you recognize the need for perception and reality to be equal for all parties.
That equality only comes about through communication that is backed by thought
rather than spontaneous emotion and impulse.
As an example of conflicting
perception and reality in business, employees who perceive that their performance
on the job is not appreciated create an internal false reality that the boss simply
does not know what they do for her and the company.
The boss, not lacking
for things to do during the day, concentrates on the employees who have substandard
job performance. The boss’s reality is that time is precious and that she needs
to spend management time on the marginal employees not the performers; the good
employees know who they are.
Her reality is partially right; the good
employees do know who they are. What good employees don’t know is if the boss
knows and appreciates it. A confused perception of the reality by both sides
exists.
I’m not suggesting that leaders in business begin to focus on
the endless amount of possibilities for conflict of perception and reality. I
am suggesting that awareness of the conflict will help you slow down and stop
your personal ego train every now and then on a whistle stop tour to explain what
is going on in your head and with your business. Recognizing the possibility that
not everyone “gets it” like you do will lead to a smoother and more productive
business.
Perception
and reality are part of leading for success. My 8 simple strategies for success
can help you learn this and other techniques to grow your business. Want to learn
more? click
here
