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A
wise person once said all problems exist for the lack of a good conversation. People
sure do a lot of talking; conversations often end like a Seinfeld episode-a show
about nothing. Problems exist for weeks, months and even years because the conversation
that needs to happen is locked up in a corner by our
own fear. From time to time, everyone has hidden a problem in his fear closet
and hoped for a solution to arise. It is usually a very long wait for outside
forces to fix the problem mysteriously using silent mode. The mental drain during
the waiting period for a solution by others is taxing. My
experience over the years as an owner of a self- storage business helps me make
the following analogy. The storage business has collected thousands of dollars
in rent from our customers (bless them) because they chose to pay to keep their
physical problem (their stored stuff) locked up, out of sight, in a storage unit.
They chose not to deal with the problem. The rent allowed them to postpone confronting
the problem of decisions: keep it, give it away or trash it. The
storage unit comparison is similar to the way some of us avoid having a good conversation
with the people who are, and can help solve, our problem. Avoiding confrontation
requires paying expensive rent. Your toleration of a problem day after day is
the rent you pay. Ninety
percent of people asked will answer that they want to hear the truth, even if
it hurts. How ironic that we delay having a good conversation about a problem
because we want to protect the other party even though she longs to hear the truth.
Problems with co-workers, friends, and family reside locked away in our mental
storage closets until we get tired of paying the emotional rent. The
solution is to quit paying the rent by conducting a good conversation, Maestro.
How
do you conduct a good conversation? - Speak and listen as if
this is the most important conversation you will ever have with the other person.
- Name the problem and begin
the process of solving it.
- Leverage silence. Don't do all the talking and leave some silence
between the words. By slowing down and listening, the real problem can come out
between the parties.
- Trust your instincts.
Your gut feeling won't lead you in the wrong direction.
Conducting
a good conversation is one of the practices my clients learn in the work I do
as a trainer, consultant and coach. If you have had enough of paying rent for
postponing a good conversation, I'd be happy to help.
Contact me. | 
